#and I gotta go back out there later bc it's part of my job to close all the sun umbrellas at end of day

[figofswords]

the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

[grassbreads]

I usually eat lunch outside every day during the work week (so long as it's not raining), but today the outdoor seating area at my job was inexplicably SWARMING with bugs. Like, to the point that I had to bail and go back inside because I couldn't keep them away from my food, and the sheer quantity of them gathering on some surfaces was kinda nauseating 😬

I have no idea what they were, but they were some kind of small light-colored insect hanging out in a truly mass quantity. There's usually always a few of whatever they are hanging out on the side of the building, but something was up today

[tvckerwash]

okay I watched restoration and I'll probably analyze it more in depth later when my brain has processed what I've watched but here are some of the thoughts I had while watching (I stopped live blogging part way through so some things may be out of order lols):

okay first thoughts: we’re at a convention, and dylan is some sort of director for some super unpopular thing. ngl that’s a pretty harsh downgrade from journalist/news correspondent. 

hi kai. she seemed to be more like her s15-s17 characterization than her bg/chorus cameo characterization for the 30 seconds she was present (which I remember really disliking)

wash is in the hospital as prisoner 619b…bros did the UNSC arrest him again?!?

“I’m not even sure I got his voice right this time.” okay so restoration IS another simulation

the director being a therapist when the counselor is right there lmao

bros no way they got elijah wood to voice sigma again??

is that the counselor I hear on the PA system??? that’s what the subtitles said anyway. but anyway BROS HE ACTUALLY FUCKING LIVED LETS GO (but why is his ass not in jail??????? there’s no way he managed to get a job, let alone one in a UNSC hospital, but if this IS a simulation which I think it is and epsilon himself admitted to making mistakes already then I’m okay with that development ig)

NO IS DOC A FIGMENT OF WASH’S IMAGINATION NOOOOOO MY MANS IS FINALLY LOSING IT FR

“Listen to me! You’ve gotta listen to me!”

479er??? I’ve always had the hc she was arrested w wash and the other pfl personnel at the end of s6

“Our mission men—and blue” caboose is trans confirmed

“Don’t feel bad afterwards. I forgive you. I know it’s not your fault, I’m sorry this is happening to you.” omg caboose not dunking on tucker is what he presumed to be his final moments.

SARGE GOING TO SAVE CABOOSE <3

oh okay I predicted months ago before the 2nd trailer came out that at least one of the bgc was going to die and I was right! I thought it was going to be caboose but rip sarge (and doc) 

I’m really disappointed that wash didn’t get to do more tbh. the meta was HIS enemy but he was regulated to comedic relief  :(

also wash jumping off a cliff to activate the recovery beacon is :/. bro was literally a recovery agent he should know how to activate it to summon lina like she’s a deployable unit in uhh. ways that were NOT that.

did not expect tex to come back but okay, also tex/lina fighting together feels like fanservice but mmmmmmmmmmnh. 

awww tex and church get to be together again, dying together as one like they did at the end of s6. TEX SOFTLY HOLDING CHURCH’S HAND YES!!! WE LOVE SOFT TENDER TEX IN THIS HOUSE!!!

damn the “wash and lina having their trauma and traits swapped for no reason” thing is. hmmm  don’t like that, have never liked that. I tried to see if I had any posts on my old blog about this topic bc I remember talking about it in the past and I sort of do? eh whatever tldr; lina is the one haunted by the past and wash is supposed to be the one giving the emotional speeches but hhhhhrng. will definitely be talking about that more later even though I thought the scene was super sweet (also ct!!!!!!! my girl!!!!)

I don’t like that they were all separated and that grif was going to leave, these mfs were forced together in a shitty box canyon at the start of the series and I feel like it would’ve been better if instead of being forced together they all chose to stay together but it is what it is.

“Bow chicka bye now.” bros it’s over…

okay ngl it was pretty rushed pacing wise and I’ve got so many bones to pick (mostly about wash bc ofc) but speaking as an ending to the series I think it works. it all started in a box canyon which was later revealed to be an elaborate training simulation, so it’s fitting that it it was revealed very early in the run time that it was all a simulation, and it all ended in the box canyon they started in. I thought the themes of feeling guilty and being able to forgive oneself were very interesting (might get into that more later as well…) so yeah. 

it’s flawed, but for such a long running series that had originally been intended to only be a few episodes, I think it ending with tucker telling us it’s over and to go home is honestly the best way they could’ve done it. all the other times the series had “ended” it was done in a way where it worked as a standalone end for the series, but it was always open-ended enough that a continuation could be made if they wanted to. 

there isn’t going to be a continuation this time, the story is over, but just because the story has ended doesn’t mean that we can’t make our own stories. red vs blue will live on so long as there are people who want it to, which feels pretty on the dime doesn’t it?

[genericpuff]

in reference to the have you read LO poll by god have I tried but god. God...

A vicious cycle. I go okay I really do need to plow through more of it if I'm gonna hang around the ULO reddit, and then I step on the comically placed rake. I can't do a complete skip thing bc I'll be too disorientated on where I'm at in the plot but my brain only tolerates it up until she declares she's missing her dick appointment and like, girl. Please. You committed mass murder (if not genocide) and this is a slap on the wrist considering, let alone that your moms got the worse end of the deal.

Why it's that specific moment idk but the bottom just drops out for me and it's soooo fucking stupid because like, she couldn't have just... bitched about being stuck with hard labor? That's the bitchy shit I'd sort of expect from a privileged nepo baby and even barring the twue wuv story going on it's her actual biggest issue going on right then. What she's presently living out. But yeah no, horny, we gotta establish that she's horny. Okay.

Sorry about the borderline vent over it there's just enough really interesting thoughts mixed up in the pile of flaming garbage to make one go rabid if they stew on it, and you clearly get that given the rewrite. Have a good day.

omg i've had that exact sort of thing happen with me before too tho, not in quite the exact same sense of like, "wanting to take part in a community but struggling to get through the source material it's based on", but there are like, so many webtoons and manga and stories I've tried to read - after being urged to by pals and people who read them - that I've dropped after multiple attempts of trying to read them. And they're not necessarily dumpster fires like LO (though some of them definitely aren't great) it's more like I'm sitting there wondering "when's this gonna get good? when's this gonna be worth all the hype?" Tower of God is the biggest one that comes to mind, I have tried to read that webtoon on SEVERAL occasions and I just can't justify trudging through all those early episodes for it to maybe "get good". And that's not even me saying it's bad, it's just not interesting to me in the slightest. No hate to anyone who likes ToG, I think I've also sorta drifted away from shonen over the years so that's definitely not helping, but I just can't be bothered to try and read that webtoon anymore, I've given it so many attempts and I'm doing lmao Kudos to the creator though because it's a LOT of work to make a webtoon of that length and they should be proud of that.

Back on the topic of LO though, yeah, I was following the comic when that episode was still brand new and it really made us all go 🤨 because of how out-of-pocket it was. And then like an episode (or two?) later she bullied a former classmate of hers from 10 years ago at his job. That was the precedent for Persephone's character that was set for the third season of LO and it's just gotten worse as it's gone on.

Either way, if I'm being honest, you're really not missing much by skipping over the majority of S3 (like, if you made it to the dick appointment episode before giving up then you're already pretty close to the current point in the story). Like I'm not gonna lie, you could easily skip up to the midseason cutoff point because everything leading up to that is just a bunch of nothing. Hades and Persephone get married and it's the most underwhelming scene ever despite it being the moment people had been waiting years for, also they 'adopt' Dionysus but he's barely in the comic except for when Rachel remembers he's a character so you could also get by on minimal details. Oh yeah, and it turns out Demeter had a kid during the 10 year time skip who we see in like two episodes and then proceeds to get fridged forever.

So yeah, as much as I'd recommend people read LO as a sort of "entry ticket" into the crit community surrounding it, S3 is a lot of nothing and you would frankly not miss out on a thing if you skimmed it or skipped the middle portion of it entirely lmao

[keirou-kun]

So because I have zero self control and no one told me not to, I'm gonna scream about my favorite story from the original 1960s Teen Titans comics. This is Issue 14, the story entitled 'Requiem for a Titan!', and it is my go-to example for how Dick Grayson has just always been Like That™. A lot of the stories from this era are a little cheesy for my taste. Not bad! Just clearly products of their time. This one, though, with a little updating of the language, could have been written in a more modern series and I adore it. This got long, so I'm just gonna hide it under a cut.

So! Let's begin with the set-up! This story starts in medias res, with our bad guy meeting Robin in a creepy-ass graveyard and no information on how or why they're even there. Our bad guy, by the way, is called the Gargoyle, for obvious reasons.

that is, indeed, a fucking gargoyle.

The open grave is Robin's, of course, and Gargoyle has Robin throw in his cape, his tunic [revealing that beneath the tunic Dick Grayson is wearing what looks like a freakin' onesie with scale armor on the lower half, good lord XD] and - after some serious hesitation on Dick's part, bc secret identity oh no! - his mask. During this hesitation, we also find out that somehow Gargoyle has not only captured but somehow turned the other three Titans [Kid Flash, Wonder Girl, and Aqualad] over to his side, because they get used as a threat to force Dick's hand: do it, or fight your friends, basically.

not my secret identity...! fine, you win, Gargoyle.

So he does it and then has to focus on…something, we don't know what, but whatever it is makes him look hideous for a hot second before Gargoyle beams him off to a place called Limbo, where the Gargoyle rules supreme, oh no!

nice Two-Face imitation there, Dick.

Now we flash back to see just how the fuck Robin ended up in this predicament to begin with. So, in this run, there's various ways for people to get in touch with the Teen Titans directly, and one of them is apparently via a thing called Titan Hook-Up, where anyone can demand a five minute spot on TV if they have a message for the Titans. Apparently the Titans themselves pay for it, but since they're all literal teenagers who probably don't have part-time jobs due to, y'know, being junior superheroes, I gotta wonder who's actually footing the bill.

it's probably Bruce, let's be real here.

So the Gargoyle goes on, gets his time, and immediately claims to be an ex-con the Titans not only unjustly accused but deliberately withheld evidence of innocence of just to ensure they'd put him away. Not all of them, though! Only one of them did this dastardly deed, because only one of them actively knew. The Gargoyle threatens revenge on all four if the guilty party doesn't fess up. Of course, none of the Titans have any idea who this guy is or what the hell he's talking about, especially since he doesn't match the description of any of the bad guys they've caught so far, but, uh-oh…trouble in paradise; Wally, Garth, and Donna all immediately jump to Robin as the potentially guilty party!

gee thanks guys

An unspecified while later, the team gets called out to go deal with a potential riot at a theatre over a concert that got canceled. That bit of suspicion has been growing in the minds of Robin's teammates, though Robin himself apparently has no concerns of his own on that score.

thanks for that vote of confidence guys.

Unfortunately for the team, it turns out the theatre is empty and the whole thing was a ruse; they've been lured straight into a trap by the Gargoyle, oh no! Robin, naturally, starts doing what he's always done, taking the lead and trying to get the team to jump into action to deal with their enemy. Unfortunately for him, his teammates' suspicion paired with the Gargoyle reminding them that only one of them supposedly screwed him over means that…well…

nice to know you care, team.

At which point the Gargoyle uses his magic ring - just go with it - and a beam of energy transports everyone but Robin to a place called Limbo, a plane ruled by none other than the Gargoyle. He'd wanted to trap all four of them in Limbo, but it seems that our Boy Wonder hadn't harbored any doubts or suspicions about his team at all! Typical Dick Grayson tbh.

that's our boy tbh

Robin, intent on trying to defeat the Gargoyle on his own and get his friends back, immediately goes after the guy, only to find himself suddenly attacked by each of his former teammates in turn; turns out, anyone in Limbo hates everyone in the real world. Even worse, they're all somehow giant-sized. Kid Flash literally flicks Robin across the theatre, Wonder Girl uses the power of her bracelets to throw him into one of the balconies, Aqualad chucks him right back at the stage where Wally's waiting to turn this into a game of catch. Things are not going well for the Boy Wonder, especially since in amongst all this is the Gargoyle egging them on.

Ultimately Robin manages to break his momentum by grabbing a cable, but a poorly-timed sandbag knocks him out, leaving him helpless. Meanwhile the cable he grabbed turns out to be a high voltage cable which starts a fire, driving the Gargoyle away before he can kill Robin himself and leaving Dick unconscious as the fire spreads through the theatre.

that can't be good.

Fortunately the fire trucks are already responding and Robin, of course makes it out while everyone else assumes the other three are dead in the fire. I mean, their helicopter even explodes [it was parked on the roof] and there's no sign of anyone but Robin coming out of the blaze, so why would they? And Robin can't tell anyone the truth, because who'd actually believe it? So he gets to walk all the way back to their secret base trying to figure out how he's going to keep on crime-fighting as a solo act.

you couldn't find a better nickname for wally? come on.

Except, guess who's waiting for him at the secret hideout! Gargoyle and the others, oh no! The Gargoyle's going to take his now-evil Titans and start doing crime and evil, and probably use this as their base, which of course means they can't have Robin interfering. Rather than stay and fight, Dick dives through an escape hatch - a convenient laundry chute, actually; unsurprisingly his own design - that the others can't use right now because their phantasmic Limbo-created forms are too big.

whoops.jpg

So now Dick has no team, no base, and no idea what to do. His costume's torn, he's narrowly escaped death by inferno, he's just really not having a good time of it right now. So what's a Boy Wonder to do? Call it quits and go home? Oh hell no.

he's just always been like this, okay.

He takes on a sudden crime wave - spiked by the apparent death of three of the Titans - on his own, because of course he does. And it doesn't really go too well for him, because this boy is probably all of fifteen years old and not exactly used to being a solo act right now but he's too damn stubborn to stop and ask for help. Things come to a breaking point when he's got civilians feeling sorry for him.

dick honey no

And that leads us to that hill with the gravestones and the Gargoyle, so now we're all caught back up. The Gargoyle now has all four Titans in Limbo and, therefore, under his control to begin a crime wave the likes of which the world has never seen…

Or does he?

you sneaky son of a bitch, Grayson.

Turns out this is just part of Dick's own plan to find his teammates. He's exactly where he wants to be, and it doesn't take him long to find the others. Takes him even less time to start fighting them, knocking Aqualad for a loop wth a single kick and throwing Kid Flash at him a second later. Wonder Girl, however, takes a little more finesse than Robin apparently has, considering she not only lands one hit on him, she lands several.

dick is now really the time...?

But this, too, is all part of Dick's plan, since what he needed was for her to get angry enough for Limbo to start resonating with her emotions, thereby bringing the Gargoyle back from the real world so Dick can actually fight the real bad guy. Because Dick has managed to come to Limbo without being twisted or changed by doubt or suspicion or evil, even though that's the only way the ring can send people from the real world to Limbo. So how did he manage this?

He faked it.

HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS. fuckin' "That's what spies do. We lie." energy right here.

Dick fucking Grayson managed to fake out a magic ring by faking evil thoughts…and he did it by focusing on his anger, I guarantee you, considering he himself states he did it by concentrating on how good the Gargoyle would look behind bars. He did this with spite and anger and somehow managed to look more evil than any other human the Gargoyle has ever seen before in the process.

So now Dick takes the fight to the Gargoyle. Or tries, anyway. He might not have his cape or mask, but he does still have his utility belt. Unfortunately, in Limbo, everything is the reverse of the real world, so a smokescreen automatically disperses, magnetic repulsion actually attracts, and nothing's really working. The Gargoyle finally manages to sever the belt entirely, which not only removes Robin's access to his gadgets but also reveals the truth about what he wears under that red tunic.

that's a fucking leotard. he's wearing a onesie. not even short-shorts, it's a onesie. Dick why XD

However! Robin's not out of the fight yet! He manages to grab his belt and use it as an impromptu arm guard, while also pulling out one last gadget that will save the day!

no, tiny tools, my one weakness!

The pliers are used to break the Gargoyle's magic ring - the one that transported everyone to Limbo to begin with - and doing that means that neither the Gargoyle nor Dick - nor the others - can stay in Limbo any longer. Unfortunately, since the Gargoyle is currently stuck to Dick's arm that means that they're both getting sucked into the space between worlds…until the release of energy throws the Gargoyle clear. Too far out of reach for Robin to even try to grab hold of him again. Not that he wants to.

dick pls

Fortunately, our heroes all reappear on that creepy hilltop in the real world, and even more fortunately none of the three who got caught seem to have any memory of what happened or how they got there. Dick gambled on destroying the thing that brought them into Limbo and it paid off. And he was willing to reveal his identity to his teammates to do it.

okay technically she has back in issue 11 but shh we'll just pretend that never happened it's fine >w>

Are some plot elements a little ridiculous or cheesy? Sure, but no more so than some of the shit we see; cheesy and ridiculous is a comic book staple, after all. It's mostly the dialogue being used, but give it a bit of an update in terms of phrasing and slang and possibly nicknames and honestly this story wouldn't be at all out of place in a modern run. I really kinda love it.

[clintgotintheventsagain]

PJO FINALE SPOILERS

Okay mixed feelings guys.

Start with the good stuff

Walker’s acting: immaculate. Kid got his acting chops out frrr

Sally Jackson was one of the best parts of this show. She’s so much more fleshed out and I love the emphasis of Percy not just as son of Poseidon but Percy Jackson, son of our queen Sally.

The sets were so great omg. Camp and mount were awesomeee. They gave what they needed to give and more

The kids did so good!! Our little trio gave me sm happiness

Grover. Every ep I wanted to stuff him in my pocket. He’s so precioussss my little babyy

The percabeth crumbssss. The potential soulmatism is there man

The fighting was great too omg. I was super iffy about how they were gonna show a little baby go up against the god of war but it worked

Honestly from the beginning I thought they really toned down gabe but it all worked out in the end lmao

The show was very cinematic and visually appealing. The thunder and rain motifs especially

Qualms:

None of the gods felt godly to me. None of them (except for Zeus a bit) had that umph that made them intimating enough for Percy’s push back at them to be impressive. If that makes any sense (I could go into detail for the why for each god)

The Luke and percy fight at the end I felt really could have added more umph again. For me luke did an adequate job, he gave what he needed to give but in setting up for the future I feel like he could have maybe raised his voice a little more idk… along the same line, I think we needed a bit more shock value from leah to Luke’s betrayal. But honestly I think it didn’t hit bc their relationship wasn’t highlighted/emphasized enough. Hopefully maybe we’ll get some flashbacks in future seasons

They made Poseidon wayyy too fucking nice. We gotta be able to hate the guy a little bit, jesus

Still salty they didn’t include the underworld tsa lmao. Also shout out to Poseidon’s swivel fisherman’s chair

Okay. I will actually be kinda upset if Luke’s sword portal thing replaces Mrs o’Leary. Bc I have a sinking feeling that it will and I’m gonna be so sad about it

In conclusion, I’m not gonna be too critical of the show bc there’s just so much potential for it. Just percabeth alone, god I can just see them in 5 years pining and giving all the feels. Neeeedddd it. And walker as Percy especially. When I tell you he carried the show. He’s got so much potential as an actor and he just nails the character godd

I’ll prob be back to add more to the list later once I’ve got more time to digest. Can’t wait for the tiktok edits to start rolling innnn yuh

Everyone manifest season twooooo let’s get it

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

so I keep learning about The Horrors™️ of American healthcare and I keep hearing Americans talk abt this shit like it’s totally fine and let me tell y’all. It’s not. Apparently and ADHD or Autism test costs like 500$ for you guys? And then when you do get diagnosed you gotta think abt shit like “okay but do I actually need meds?” Bc apparently that’s a financial decision? But it,,, it shouldn’t be right? Right okay bc

I live in Europe, specifically Austria, and this is how healthcare works here: if you have a job you have healthcare. Your employer pays for it. They have to. It’s absolutely illegal and unheard of not to. They do take about 20% out of your pay-check every month to pay for that and other legal things that I don’t quite understand (my dad explained it to me once but I’m 20 so I still don’t get it bc I don’t really have to but every cent they take out benefits me I think so it’s fine).

Now irl this is a lot more complicated but basically, you have public healthcare and private healthcare and then just stuff that’s up to the government (like ambulance rides, I think. Even if you don’t have insurance u don’t pay for that. I know this bc an American friend of mine didn’t and had to go to the hospital and called a cab and when they told me I was like “??? BRO WHY NO AMBULANCE” this is also how I found out that Americans have to pay for ambulance rides. wtf.)

Basically your insurance covers all medical expenses from doctors who are in your network (public practice). This is your GP, hospitals, and pretty much all specialised docs (dentist, internists, cardiologists, etc.). However, the public offices are much busier than the private ones (obvi) so if you’re in a rush, want special treatment, or just be a little fancy you can CHOOSE to pay for private doctors. And even then you can hand in those bills to your insurance and you get part of the money back (abt 30% which you receive abt 4 months after handing the bill in).

If you keep your bills for private care doctors you can hand them in to,,, someone somewhere somehow (idk man) and get a bigger tax return. (bc we don’t calculate our taxes ourselves. it just gets taken out of your pay-check by your employer every month and then at the end of the,,, fiscal year??? I guess?? Idk man idk how shit works — you get any money that was like,,, extra (????) back)

Now you might ask yourself: “phi, why would I pay for doc if I can go to free doc?” Which is an excellent question. Again, for most people it’s about waiting times but there is one field where it just really makes more sense: mental health services. Private practitioners have less clients and more high quality care than public ones because they choose their own funding, which, surprise surprise, is better than public funding.

I will now take you through my own personal journey so you can have a practical example of how good healthcare CAN AND SHOULD BE (keep in mind here I have parents who after messing me up and being terrible but learning their lessen once I became an adult and told them how horrible they were are very supportive of me pursing my mental health)

When I was about to turn 20 I went to my GP and had a conversation with her about how I think I might have ADHD. She asked me about my complaints and agreed there definitely are symptoms indicating it. She wrote me a referral to a Psychiatrist. When I got to my Psychiatrist she tested me and because of the referral she could tell the insurance company that this test was necessary and not elective, meaning insurance payed for it in full and I never even saw that bill.

Now I had a diagnosis all but a week later. I spoke to my parents who agreed to support me in finding private care. My Psychiatrist charges 160€ (insurance returns 48€) per appointment which my mum graciously pays for. I see him once every couple of months to check in on my use of medication and how I’m responding and to see if my dosis needs adjustment. If and when I need a refill, I only have to write him an email. Before he could put me on medication I needed a blood draw and cardiac test, to ensure that I qualified for a stimulant, since they can be harmful in some cases. He wrote me referrals and I went to my GP and a public cardiologist for those tests, which were all free of ANY charge.

I was then cleared to take my meds within a few weeks (cardiologist had a bit of a waiting list). I was prescribed Ritalin and some sleeping pills by my psychiatrist. He gives me the prescriptions and a letter to the insurance company asking them to cover the cost, as I have a diagnosis which he confirmed again in his initial assessment of me. Now that I’ve gotten approved, all I pay for is the prescription, not the actual medication. Which is about 6-7€ for the Ritalin and 4-5€ for the sleeping pills (monthly supply each).

My Therapist is also a private doctor. She charges 120€ per session and I go twice a month, which is 240€ per month. My dad contributes 100€ and my mum contributes 30€, which means I’m down to 110€ per month. Insurance pays 30€ per session (so 60€ per month) so I pay a grand total of 50€ or 25€ per session.

So my medical treatment each month costs me just about 62€ AT MOST (since I don’t always need my sleeping pills refilled).

Now, just for fun, let’s assume my parents don’t support me and I see both my therapist and my psychiatrist in the same month and need both my meds refilled. This would come to just about 304€ (because of insurance deductions).

But you have to consider that I DON’T see my psychiatrist every month, so the more realistic monthly cost would be 187€. And should I decide I can’t pay for that I can still get on a waiting list for public mental health practitioners, in which case the only thing I’d ever need to pay for are the prescription costs for my medication which would still be up to 7€ for the Ritalin and up to 5€ for the sleeping pills putting the grand total at 12€ PER MONTH.

My family and I simply chose the quicker, more efficient option, but no one twisted our arm into paying this amount of money FOR BASIC CARE.

And yes, it’s a lot of bureaucracy (it took me WAY too long to spell that) and paperwork, but I’d much rather that than have to decide between mental well-being or being broke.

So, my conclusion: Cancel America, move to Europe, OR just tell the American People In Charge Men that it is that easy and they really should try a little harder and you citizens shouldn’t settle for the shit you have to put up with right now because wtf

if you wanna cry a little it’s okay lemme know I’ll come sit with you and offer a hug but you can say no if that’s not your thing

anyways love ya

phi

[soggypotatoes]

man haha I had the most action packed weekend..

Saturday was huge on its own, did a lot of things, outside even and both days were 30C heat.. then yesterday I went to my old employers house to do some gardening for her and packing cause she's moving, went grocery shopping, waited for a bus in the heat for half an hour, got home, did laundry, then.. well, my housemate hasn't been doing well, he's been flat out depressed unable to get up for the most part so I had a talk with him (I mostly sat next to him and gently repeatedly asked him to tell me one thing he'd been thinking about ((he is not one for communicating or expressing things))), then he cried while I hugged him (!!!!! HUGE, Ive barely ever even seen him express an emotion), talked a bit.. then walked my dog for an hour (his job today but he was exhausted ((we co-parent))) and talked to my mum... idk, for other people this is fine, but for me? I often get exhausted just by having to do laundry.

by the end I could literally feel my energy reserves going in the negative, but it was different bc it didn't feel bad? it was just, ok, I am borrowing spoons from tomorrow, but emotionally and physically I was ok. I think I forgot about it though bc I got up and immediately made a mental list of things to do today.. only to have a big nap after already sleeping 10 hours lol. I have therapy later, and I gotta walk my dog. think I'm learning a lesson here which is to account for this after a big day.

also I'm gonna drop one of my subjects this trimester, I think housemate will go back into hospital soon so I'll need time to take care of myself + doggie alone. it was hard last time he went in, but I made a lot of important growth. I think I need to use this time to learn how to open myself to relying on others support more.

my self harm is still happening, but I'm letting it happen, harm reducing it. a lot of big positive change has been happening and I think one of my smaller parts is terrified of it. I'm really happy that things are getting better though. Ive felt stagnant for so long, but I've been moving this whole time, I think.

[baahsu]

omg hi baah itsa me J.J :] anyways WHY is writing like an actual fanfic so HARD?? whenever i do hcs/ficlets shit comes so easy but the second i gotta formulate my word vomit into actual musings?? brain go THUNK. also the fact that i elected to write this from ichijs pov (the. the hardest sib for me to write for.) is NOT helping 😭😭 first 1k is just him being melodramatic and very sad as fuck

anyways i didnt just come into your box to yell-- heres some food. and also my hesitant attempt to see what reiju would be like as anything but a dom bc ive been curious abt it:

so whenever reiju loosens her dominatrix reigns a bit niji brings out a bit of tha whore in her and she loves it :) (but also a situation like this happens SPECIFICALLY and ONLY post wci/germa cover story bc i feel like reiju would soften up on niji and yonji a bit after they showed genuine concern for her when she was in danger during wci and also bc they were literally kidnapped and presumably tortured by the Charlottes in 'emotionless excursion') this is a hill i choose to die on

like theyd just be chillin in bed together doing nothin in particular, vibing in each others presence, and suddenly niji begins running his hand up and down reijus thigh and at first shes like "aw affection attempt how cute :]" but then his hand starts moving more and more inwards and she goes *"ah."*

they dont even have to say anything bc its just an all around safe, chill environment all while nijis hand keeps moving up until it's slipped under reijus dress and underwear (if she was even wearing any underwear in the first place 👁👁)

during all this they fr just stay where they are and continue what theyve been doing this whole time, the only difference being niji now fingering reiju and she just relaxing back into a pillow and sighing happily about it

ofc after she came (niji definitely didnt send out little electric sparks on her clit periodically to make sure she squirted and was overstimulated nooo i dont know what your talking about 🙂🙂) she turned to him and said smthn like

"youre getting tied up for that later."

and niji (with his fingers in his mouth bc. yk 👁) gives a muffled sarcastic reply of "fine, whatever. why dont you invite ichiji and yonji to watch while you're at it."

and reiju just chuckles bc like. thats not really a bad idea :]]

WOWOWO sorry for all the reiju spam recently bc i know you prioritize 1234ji together over her but shes been rotting my brain sm lately its crazy. i love my wif e :,]

J.J HELLO

Don't get me started at how words just stop wording when you try to write fics because that's definitely I thing and it's frustrating. A fic from ichiji's pov tho?? With possibly going through it and feeling feelings??? Yes pls??????

Now, while you're write about me kinda preferring 1234ji together I have to say this dynamic between niji and reiju is so tasty 🤌 I love reiju having a soft spot for him (and yonji too (and also ichiji bc why not lol)) and just letting him touch her as he pleases. It's also endearing how he started slow and soft, like, he was really trying to be a good boy and not rush things

THE BEST PART THO, NIJI USING HIS POWERS??? TO MAKE HER CUM LIKE SHE DESERVES?? WE LOVE A MAN THAT KNOWS HOW TO DO THEIR JOB. Damn I never thought of that but that's a perfect use of his abilities, I can imagine reiju trained him to do just the right amount so he wouldn't overstimulate her, but he felt daring this time and took it up a notch. And you can't convince me he wasn't considering he'd be punished for it later, he knows reiju and knows that her letting loose and relequishing control like this would come with a price later)

And of course he told her to invite ichiji and yonji on purpose too, there's no way he didn't!! He's a whore after all 😌

[yoiku]

Just feeling like unpacking and sorting out some thoughts on this wonderfully rainy morning (begone, roadside dust!!)

Now, I've always been the type to post new art the moment it's done. Posting stuff only on Patreon has still proven easier than I expected. Perhaps since i am still posting stuff -somewhere- it doesn't feel as weird, even though I do miss the interaction from posting on socials. But that'll be back once I have a buffer big enough to keep Patreon relevant. It's also getting easier on letting posting on social wait as time goes by, lol. Actually thought that what if I make the publish gap with the comic even bigger, like several months between Patreon/other sites. But aaaah, I really do want to get it out. It might create more of a gap with time anyway. And the best way to get new people interested in my Patreon is to have interesting stuff out there in the wild. And I'll be honest, it feels validating af to see even a few people willing to spend money to access my Patreon.

It's still conflicting sometimes, because I would really want to keep my stuff available to everyone without paywalls. Art in general is meant to be shared and should be accessible to everyone, this is something I feel on a larger scale. Things like commissioned, unique pieces are luxurious though. They are after all often personal as well. Artists don't live on grants and stipends, hell, even those are usually available for artists who have already made a name for themselves on a larger scale/are well connected. Majority I know struggle with part time jobs, unemployment, studying or are disabled, barely scraping by what they can get in terms of welfare etc. I'm no different. I'm on welfare due to health reasons + in debt, so basically I don't have any "extra" money at the end of each month left for nice things™. And if I do, it usually goes to paying a larger portion of debt away. Sometimes I spend and always regret it later, lol. But if you -never- get to treat yourself even a little, life starts to feel quite depressing. I know so many people are in the same kind of position, where it's just not possible to pay for more than 1-2 subscription services monthly, or none. So having my art behind a Patreon paywall of any kind feels bad, knowing I would likely not be able to afford it myself, lol. Will it ever be easy to combine the thought of art + money without having dreadful crapitalism thoughts creep in? Probably not.

I still want to do my best to pick up some commissions as well, I need to create some sort of hidden stash of money now that I have the cat. Because when (inevitably at some point) a trip to the vet happens, that's going to be at least a hundo no matter what. And when the last trip to the vet arrives, that's gonna be closer to 300-400 with all the cheapest options. (hopefully not anytime soon, but something i have to take into account) I am currently working on a painting comm and might have another one coming up as well, which is giving me much joy. Watercolours are a lot of work, but they're less taxing in the sense that there's only so much detail you can do compared to digital, and tradi allows the happy little accidents with the medium. So it's easier to feel like I did my best wihtout having the thought "ah... i should've kept fixing it"(without asking for more money bc I gotta do better ad infinitum) So I'm really happy peeps have shown interest in tradi comms, even though I'm not very well versed in techniques with those. Learning tho!

My head's been in a relatively good place for a good while now, all things considered. But I have to pull the brakes on myself every now and then because I know it only takes one hard hit in the old mental health for all of it going to shit in the blink of an eye. So I'm trying to tread carefully, prep and plan while keeping the bar set low enough.

Mom has moved to hospice care, which also means that getting the phonecall about her passing can also be any day now. I feel like I've made my peace with it, but even if it doesn't initially hit hard, I'm pretty sure it will bring some mental struggle later. And there will be the whole episode of handling her stuff afterwards. Thankfully there won't be any wealth to distribute, so likely all the mandatory/legal expenses will be handled by welfare. How dreadful that even in that, money is the first thing to have to worry about, huh.

At least the sun has returned from the winter jail, bright days lighten the mind.

[knowlessman]

bnha prepare to cry edition (s2e10-12), with Todoroki: Origins

huh, new OP. bit of a different vibe, but I'm not complaining; sounds familiar tho - …oh. I clicked on the previous episode by mistake, this is the outro

ahem, yes, complexes n abuse n stuffs

still same old OP. the animation is nice tho, I'll say that much

oh shit here we go

"with your arms like that, you can't fight any more" the human body has four limbs, zuko. granted, deku has already committed a lot of healing to what's essentially an overvalued pissing match

…eh? why'd that one work? -- he can cash in each finger twice now??? 'XD at the rate he's going, he's going to cash in all the potential he had and have nothing to put on his resume just to have a resume -- "there's a limit to how much cold your body can take" yeah, and it's a lot fucking higher than your limits; zuko doesn't need a new arm every fight -- "you haven't put a single scratch on me yet" says the guy who's only been keeping himself in the game by sacrificing lands every turn and who doesn't even seem to have a wincon

"endeavor is shouting encouragement now, such a doting father" get. the fuck. off. the mic.

endeavor's gonna be unwatchable after this, I think. he's gonna think all his dreams came true. imo, deku shoulda let todoroki limit himself. there are worse responses to being born with power/privilege than "I refuse to use it."

ooh, iida's up next

(todoroki to endeavor) "for a moment, I forgot about you." damn straight.

oh, who invited mineta? fuck off.

wonder if they ever call back to this "your arm will never be the same" stuff later. I guess I couldn't blame them too much if they don't, but they are making a big deal out of how much deku keeps sacrificing for momentary advantages in fights that ultimately don't really matter. heck, even when he doesn't damage a limb more than usual, he's ostensibly using up his body's lifetime capacity for healing (I think they implied that last season anyway).

(iida showing plant girl the door) 'XD only the most gentlemanly of ring-outs. typical of iida; old-fashioned, but exceedingly polite while somehow not sacrificing effectiveness.

meanwhile, back in the world…

I love the metapod bros, they're great 'XD

iida did good tho; gotta admit, the jobbers are jobbing (including all the girl characters bc patriarchy -_-), but they are at least getting to have A Plan that Could Have Worked, they're not just showing up and getting shutout

(iida's brother got got) hm. shame. -- …like. I mean this isn't being overdone or anything, it doesn't feel cliche or out-of-nowhere or whatnot, but part of me still wants to joke about iida going edgy and going on a revenge quest and getting a sword and shit. I don't know if I hope that actually happens; mostly I'm thinking "it's gonna be a helluva moment when he finds out." : / the show has managed to avoid killing off any named characters so far, but we didn't know ingenium (?) that well

(bakugo vs tokoyami) dangit. I hate it when dickheads figure things out

"do you have a moment to hear about our lord and savior Facepalm-sama?"

there are 25 daggone episodes in this season, it's a good thing they're such bangers

(flashback to last season) "I'm gonna beat you, deku, and I'll do it wearing my two-sizes-too-big delinquent-style baggy pants!"

"I AM… KICKING THE DOOR IN LIKE A DICKHEAD WITH A CHIP ON MY SHOULDER THAT CAN BE SEEN FROM OUTER SPACE!!!" -- "you knew midoriya when you were kids. has he always given a shit about other people?" 'XD

bakugo and endeavor are literally the same person except endeavor acts like he can read

…this annoying butt-60's-superhero music thing just said "be a fuck*ng superstar." they bleeped out the i in -ing. …anyway

(muffled explosions) mineta: "w-what's that sound?" leave this show mineta, every single frame you are in could be edited out with no other changes and the show would be improved for it

"the stronger the quirk, the more imprecise the attacks" says the guy who definitely didn't watch todoroki's fight with iida

no, bakugo, as a matter of fact you don't deserve the world and everything in it just because your mother told you so -- good timing with the knockout gas. seriously, if bakugo even got hired he'd be a massive liability to anybody who tried to either manage or team up with him. guy needs several tons of high-impact character development before he'll be anything else.

give bakugo a golden dunce cap because they only paired him against people who had type disadvantages to him and one person who would have hated having to look at the trophy anyway. …oh yeah he did fight kirishima; I guess that one was decided more through stamina than by anything else

'XDDD holy fuck bakugo looks like the Ram from Dead Island -- …no yeah there's just no talking to bakugo for awhile I think. I mean, hell, there usually isn't anyway

weirdo bakugo still has the medal in his mouth

(ingenium died I think?) harsh

(todoroki visits his mom) hm

eh, seems like a good stopping point for now I think

[imraespace]

WAITILL REPLT TO THE OTHER PARTS OF YOUR RESPONSE LATER IM EATINF DINNER BUT DWPOOKEI FOCUS ON YOUR EXAMS YOU GOT THIS YOU WILL GRADUATE WIRH 100%‼️‼️‼️ HOW IS THE PASSING RATE THAT LOW??? THATS LESS THAN HALF THE PPL WHAT WHAT WHAT NO BC HERE UMM YOU NEED 40 HOURS OF COMMUNITY SERVICE AND U JUST NEED TO MAKE SURE U DONT FAIL ANY OF YOUR COURSES AND U GET UR DIPLOMA IT REALLT ISNT THAT HARD UNLESS URE TAKING ADVANCED SUBJECTS BUT EVEN THEN MOST PPL LOCK IN BUT ANWYAYS U GOT THIS POOKIE i thought u would like delete tumblr and like never come back until summer and iwas like man ure gonna come back with 165+ asks 💔 BUT NO BC ID CRY IF I HAD AN EXAM ON MY BIRTFHAY WHAT IS A MOCK EXAM I KEEP HEARING AB IT BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS HELP. I LEGIT ONLY HAVE FINAL EXAMS I DONT HAVE MIDTERMS … ITS OKAY URE GONAN DO AMAZING ON EVEYRHTUNG POOKIE 💜💜

im kinda worried for next year bc idk what im gonna do like im into psychology and medical so i wanna become a psychiatrist but also idk ☹️☹️ my careers teacher has veen saying psych sociology and such are useless and ppl who go into it never find a job bc youth unemployment is so bad. LIKE HE SAYS BECOME ENTREPRENEURS LIKE OK TECHNICALLY IM GONNA ALREADY OWN A FAMILY BUSINESS BUT THAT ISNT GONNA BE MY MAIN SOURCE OF INCOME OBV. so im kinda just worried i just wanna go medical tho .. 💔 ill figure it out i guess i kinda have to

- 🐙

I HOPE I DOO

BECAUSE THEY MAKE THE EXAMS HARD AND EVEN IF ITS NOT HARD PPL PANIC BC PF ALL THE PRESSURE OF KNOWING OMG YOU MESS UP NO FUTURE! PPL WHO DO PASSED THEY ALWAYS SAY THAT THEY STUDIED EVERYDAY ALL THE TIME AND DIDNT INTERACT WITH NO FRIENDS AND DIDNT GO OUT OR LEAVE THE HOUSE THEYRE SO STRICT HERE ITS ANNOYINGGG PLUS THEY GIVE YOU TEACHERS LIKE MY ACCOUNTS ONE BC MY FRIEND HAS THE SAME PROBLEM WITH HER CHEM TEACHER AND WE ALWAYS COMPLAINED AND ASKED FOR A NEW TEACHER BC WE WANNA PASS ANS THEY ALWAYS SAY NO. SO BAD TEACHER, PRESSURE, NO LIFE AND SOME HARD ASS EXAM THATS GONNA DECIDED YOUR FUTURE.

WHAT..

HELPME I WONT DELETE TUMBLR

MOCK EXAM IS LIKE MY FINALS THEYRE GIVING US AN EXAM LIKE HOW THE EXAMS WILL BE AND THE EXAM SETTING like the exam you're not in your normal classroom ans you have your own candidate number so you gotta go at your own seat they gave you based on like your last name bc it's in alphabetical order yk like preparing us for the actual thing

DO SOMETHING YOU REALLY WANNA DO DESPITE WHAT YOUR TEACHER SAY!! I chose business bc I wanna own my nursery and I got made fun if bc "mara you're so quiet you can't talk to children!"🤨😒 don't make me bite you.

YOU CAN OWN THE BUSINESS ANS DO MEDICAL YOU JAVE TWO SOURCES OF INCOME

[diary-adhd-on-meds]

Day 1 10/11/2024

Diary on tumblr? I don't know, supposedly writing your thoughts down helps so let me try it(oh yes distance yourself, you cant be honest and earnest about stuff! nooo/s). I will try to get my thought "on paper" and write down what i did etch day, so i can look back. Hopefully it will motivate me. Red parts are venting, green will be things i've managed to do aaaand purple will be helpfull/plans Imagining someone preconceiving me makes me argue with my self about it. So I've been self medicating with chocolate my whole life just to function at bare minimum: play video games and not fail school. I've been diagnosed since first grade buuut never went on mends become mother heard of twins who got seizures from it... and didn't send me on any dsort of terapy ether, despite being in ADHD organisation. So two decades later not only did she herself try it (and was much better, but then stoped taking them bc ofc) but I started taking them regularly too. I'm getting a headic already... And I've gotta say it's incredible, I don't get those sweets cravings! And I can still do things, make diner, clean up and all that! Witch makes me so fucking angry at my parents for not helping me with it. Especially father who compered me to a alcocholic who he helped once, telling me that i just need to be left alone otehrwise i won't get out of this stupor just like any other addict. I want to bash his head with a adhd book, or that 3 hour video about ADHD from a decade ago, that's avelible on yt for free for over a decade now FUCK. //bdw Dr. Russell Barkely is really the GOAT, he is retired but continues to make videos on newest research around ADHD, can't recommend him enough (i should watch more of his vids myself 😅

The fuked up part is i wanted to try them for some time, but that requires effort aand motivation, witch I DO NOT HAVE. I need outside force to do anything but its ner impossible to give me that because of demand avoidance UGH!

Alreite but whats going on right now?: - I've bought couple things yesterday, cosmetics, house cleaning suples, and games (I hate spending money, but recently i lost a good deal on cosmetics because of that so I'm pushing myself) //I am a cosmetologist so trying out cosmetics and using them regularly is part of the job speaking of that: - job hunting! so my friend from college just came back from abroad and she needs to refresh her knowledge, so we can do it tougheder and look for job once we feel more confident that we wont melt someone face off by accident - Buying a cosmetologist textbook would be a good idea -I live with my sister and flat mate and we decided to bu a smoothie maker, so we can eat frozen fruits during winter, healthy eating and all that. I deep dived to find a mid range one, thought vacuum sealed one would be a good idea... well it was a flop BUT we returned it and we will buy cheaper simpler one now -sister is at my fathers place and flatmate is out too, so i'm all alone. No outside motivation just meds. I've managed to do some... emthesys on some, cleaning. Whats the problem?: -lack of groves to clean bathroom(ordered some) -don't know how to start cleaning my room... there is dust everywhere so I don't want to move stuff so they don't get dusty, but i can't vacuum if i don't move them.... I am smarter then that i will vacuum somewhat move things then vacuum properly. - i don't need sweets to do bear minimum, now i need to learn to take care of myself properly with them - don't know how to clean under the washing machine properly. Possibility: use old mop that's meant to be throne out ( we had some renovation done by an alcoholic, and pipes started leeking. Resident repermen fixed it somewhat buuut the washing mashine stoped working... it was geting moldy. Owner got a repairmen for it... as it turns out resident repairmen closed off water to it and didn't tell us....)

-Did some laudery and even hanged it out *pat pat* -haven't done any higien for... 4 days now 🫠 -need to get a dentis apointment - got another dose of vaxine, and did blood work - Kinda want to buy one game that got re-relised because it's part of my childhood, and two other new games that will be lunched soon. buuut i hate spending money. -I made myself diner 2 days ago and then... just wasn't hungry...? Apparently that's normal when you don't need constant dopamine intake in form of carbs... or so my sister and flatmate say (that it's normal not the rest part) What happened recently: - wrote my thesis and day before exam stepped on glass... witch of course broke and cut my foot:

pros:the cut is relatively small but deep, missed vital organs/tissue, got to go on the exam with crutches so sympathy from examinators! there was lots of blood but i didn't make a mess! saved beloved couch that can turn into materace from getting bloody<3 gnarly scar? cons: couldn't go anywhere far by myself, had to heavily relay on my family, it happened 2-3h car ride from college, had to re-bandage it every day, and look at it, stiches are kinda off-putting when they are in you. //Doctor prescribed x for re-bandaging, so i asked family to get it. They called me if x can be in gel form i said yea why not... as it turn out x is a name for a series of products that are supposed to help with wound healing. the doctor meant the spry that disinfects the wound... the gel doesn’t do that apparently! so i never disinfected. It's a funny story but i think family might feel guilty so i won't tell them. - nasty stomach flue, i never get fevers, but i got it this time (apothecary told my father that im nervous thats why my heart is hamering... why would it hammer during 38C fever.../s)

i declare myself ready to take care of my grandma (well not my but we are related) full time once all the legal stuff around her rent and pension is thru. I will live in small town in her apartament get paid(i will need to create a company) and have free time aside from that. Maybe i can go there remote college? Children psychology<3

but its months away, so i need a job until then

i found a boyfriend? guy have been off putting for some time now, finding one that i liked and learning they feel more like a women most of the time is... definitely a sign what will happen if i move to grandmas place?

father give me quest 2 (because he got quest 3 for bday, but he is also not using it...) so i should sell it or give it away

Still have a headic, i kinda have a rant in my head, maybe if i write that down it will go away.

[rayatii]

I know it's been a while, but I wanted my gameplay to take a specific direction so that's why it took so much time. (I took so many screenshots it may be divided into 2 posts or even more)

LMAO Uncle Pepe's ghost walked in on his nephew and niece-in-law WooHooing 😂

Awww it's nice to see these two get along so well

Uncle Pepe, chill, stop yelling at Uni the giant unicorn plushie

Of course, Principessa got sick again during early morning, and Nemorino had to take her to the hospital.

Why is Atalanta always so antagonistic towards rabbits?? (Also, Adina is sad bc Sofia Bjergsen, who was a good friend of hers in high school, died during the night. I swear every time I would restart this part of the gameplay (I'll explain below) someone would die in the night after their Try For Baby.)

Feeling Principessa's love, and jamming on the guitar!

LMAO Giannetta spying on these two's canoodling 😂

LMAOOOOO Giannetta attempting to spy on Atalanta?? (and also her binocs glitching into Atalanta 😂)

Let's dance!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PRINCIPESSA 😭 she has been there since Adina's childhood 😢 (also I think that new base game update where you get to choose how your Sims react to a death is kinda broken. I made them both sniffle-cry, but then they would stop and kinda laugh to themselves.)

(also, in a previous save file, Principessa died in front of Atalanta's stable, and Atalanta got sad and even cried.)

Anyway, as you might have figured out, Adina is pregnant (I decided not to have her take a pregnancy test, and she figured it out on her own). And since it's Rebate Day, I thought it might be a good idea to convert her childhood bedroom into a nursery.

Nemorino making a flower arrangement for Adina 🥰🥰

Sanook why are you complaining about dirty floors it's literally your job to clean them

Feeling the baby 🥰 Anyway, I took our fwendos to Adina's parents' place to announce the future addition to the family. (Unfortunately, I chose a bad time as it was time for Adina's dad to go to work.)

But Adina's mom was there, so that's that. (I like how sometimes when Nemorino greets his in-laws, they autonomously do what English-speakers call "kissing cheeks", altho it doesn't involve actually kissing the cheeks; you just kiss the air over the other person's shoulder, and your cheeks just kinda touch. It's a common greeting in my country)

Nemorino busking at GeekCon while Adina competes in the Hackathon (she later won.)

Looks like he has improved well enough that he's gaining some nice tips!

OMG, GIANNETTA'S DAD DRESSED AS DARTH MAUL?!!

Nice costume also, Giannetta's mom

This random Twi'lek cosplayer gave Nemorino an enchanting introduction right of the bat?!!!!! He responded positively, but thank goodness he didn't flirt back.

(Anyway, Adina and Nemorino both competed in the Ultimate Gaming Test, but both failed with a score of 30.)

You gotta stay in shape when you're pregnant!

Adina invited her dad over now that he's back from work, to tell him the big news. He looks delighted.

Wanna feel your grandkid?

I took Adina and Nemorino on a date at a karaoke bar, since there's a karaoke competition. Here's Adina doing pretty well singing a James-Bond inspired jazz song.

(Unrelated, but James Bond movies were my special interest when I was 13. I used them to deal with my crazy hormones.)

And here's Nemorino doing not-so-well singing a pop song...

Adina won the competition! And to congratulate her, Nemorino decided to gift her his flower arrangement. It's poor quality, but she seems to like it.

And here they are singing a ballad duet. I love how the audio combines both Adina's nice singing voice and Nemorino's not-so-well-trained voice. Take courage, Nemorino, you will improve soon!

Sharing some chocolate-covered strawberries in the bathroom. I think this solves the hunger and energy needs more easily.

It's Hallowseve Day! love this epic animation whenever you select "put up decorations".

This year, they are Princess Leia and her smuggler lover!

This is all that Tumblr will allow me to post for now, so the rest will follow shortly.

[shootingstar-scuderia]

🐑 alrighty i'm coming back at you with one and i'm going to try and make it equally chaotic haha

#there's only one bed #rooster #rivals to lovers #cherry cola and #apocalypse!au

ty ty for sending this in!!! i'm not typically an apocalypse girly, it's usually my hard stop, there's a lot of bits in there that makes me too existential and freaks me out but there also are some things that i find very compelling about it and ngl i like of the way this went...

anyways this got realllllly long so more under the cut!

fake fic ask game

okay so rooster makes me think of a top gun maverick sooo maybe a top gun type au where the world is on the verge of apocalypse and they're (max, charles, lando, oscar, george, alex) all training to be fighters pilots. some of the olders (danny, seb, carlos, lewis, etc) are their teachers.

and not to rip straight from top gun but maybe one of their call signs is rooster. idk who it'd be but there's probably some kind of big dick jokes related to it

it's typical boyish shenanigans, they're competitive and fit and young and the world is actively falling apart even though no one tires to think about it too hard so they're really trying to do a lot of fucking and sucking. there's an obligatory shirtless beach scene, they might have a barbecue, there's probably some cherry coke (more on that later)

and there's also a whole lot of haha let's not think about how we are most definitely fighting to our death and the fact that this war is meaningless because as time marches forward it's more and more obvious that we are going to be sent out to fight for nothing and there is no solution to this war.

i think when they first get to their training camp (or however it works in the military) there is some kind of mix up and lando and charles were assigned to the same bed cueing the there's only one bed situation. bc both of them are a little to prissy to be sleeping on the floor they end up sleeping top and tail and have a cow about it.

but this then sparks a rivals to lovers arc between max and charles bc charles hates lando like HE was supposed to be the doe-eyed tiny twinky one but lando is doing a pretty good job taking the title from him. and max and lando are friends from whatever little bootcamp you gotta go through to join the military so by extension charles hates max.

and really like max dgaf about the whole situation, he just finds it so funny that charles hates him. like charles is trying so hard to beat him at dogfights and preform better than him but max is just SO good. which makes charles annoyed to the point where even has he and lando start to get along charles is still on his anti-max agenda. the whole time max just gets more and more starry eyed bc this godddamn fool doesn't know when to quit and he likes that determination and persistence

anyways back to the whole cherry coke thing i think it's maybe max f and lando related bc sorry to all the cherry coke lovers it really feels like the most sticky gremlin coded thing. like i think the two of them fought about it a lot pre-apocalypse. maybe lando bought a case of it from the store one day because it was on sale and max was all liek "of course it's on sale you muppet, it's the worst one." anyways they have a lot of cherry coke during the apocalypse bc it is the worst one and even though the world is ending no one wants it. and maybe max is dead, maybe the two of them fought and have parted ways in a way that was really traumatic. anyways the whole cherry coke really makes lando spiral, there's lots of things to work through there.

bonus bit that's not related to any of the tags loll:

i think there'll be some kind of spy or mole or whatever who is on the side of the "anarchist resistance" (they're probably not really anarchist or anything like that but the boys are just a little too blinded by nationalistic loyalty to see past this. but also like it's literally the apocalypse the only side most people are their own). i'm thinking maybe alex mostly bc i think the galex dynamic would be the most fun to play with

like george feels so incredibly loyal, probably the most blindly loyal out of all of them. but he and alex are like brothers, teetering on the edge of something else, in any situation george would save alex first. but when it's revealed that alex is fighting for the oppositions i think george has a little bit of a breakdown. bc it turns out the one person he thought he knew like the back of his hand he didn't really know well at all. and that begins a whole identity crisis for george because alex is in many ways his twin he knows that alex would never deliberately do something bad, he was just mislead, or was he?

fake fic ask game

[flames-memory]

Sunday

I caught up with BC talking to Alurra. I guess we’re trusting them. She says it was a misunderstanding. The 4 women are these angels, and they attacked Raz, and lost. So they submitted to being his slaves. Now they think he’s the bee’s knees. BC says they’re still technically “in bondage” but I gotta say I kinda agree with Alurra – sounds like they agreed to it, signed up for it, and aren’t being abused. Sounds like they are slaves in name only – they have made their agreement with him, and they’re free to go if they like. I won’t argue with BC’s feelings on it. I was stupid enough to sign on with Kass.. a complete stranger. I just.. went with the first person to tell me what to do.. like, what is WRONG with me. Too fresh out of the lab, probably. Still WAY too used to just obeying, god I got on my knees for her so fast, even SHE remarked on it. Fucking pathetic, myself, there. I was alone, after the labs, and lonely. Kass seemed nice, at least. Fuck me. We talked a little about Kass, the photos, and her desire to... Er... Breed me. Just.. no. No. no. no. omg no. Fucking no. I can't even begin to explain how much no.

Anyway, we’re leaving Raz be.

Feels like another dodged bullet. I remember meeting him that first day with Kass, and feeling like he was.. slimy? There was something icky about the way he talked about his women. He clearly snubbed me, but I figured that was to be expected. I was literally the lowest slave in the place, barely more than garbage.. or at least, I thought that was how they all viewed me. I guess it was even worse – I just wasn’t interesting enough for anyone to talk to. I talked to him later, and he gave me the I’m-not-a-predator-no-matter-what-you-hear speech. I will say, he’s been civil to me since. I’m just glad I didn’t get involved in any of his drama.

We went later, to the fallout party at Stormcage. It was.. fallout-y. The music was, of course, awesome. The trivia was.. eff that, it sucked. The clues were weird and confusing, for the most part, and I got flustered too easily to answer. Hey, first time, I’ll do better next time, heh. I knew answers, but I couldn’t get them out of my mouth. That was one of the few games I got access to during at the labs. I didn’t get to play a lot, but it was so fun. I love Dogmeat. Wish I had room in my life for a pet. Maybe if I ever get my OWN place… heh.. I admitted to Max this weekend that that wasn’t my apartment. I have to – owner’s coming back, so I gotta get my ass OUT. Find a new place.

Managed to squeeze a little fun work in there, did a few jobs with Max. We make such an amazing team! He kept saying he’s not a tank… like.. neither am I, I’m a squishy freak, are you kidding?? But he did so good, and we only got hit REAL hard once.. okay, twice for me, but once for Max. I wonder what it would be like with BC along.. I haven’t gotten to see her like that, I don’t think. Maybe before she saved me, I don’t remember. I feel like I don’t remember a lot from them.. I was in such a dark cloud. Not anymore. And I’m going to make sure I don’t forget anything important. I need to keep up on this journal.

I like knowing my Mistress can read it. She can help me keep things straight, not leave anything important out. Got to stay on top of it. I don’t know why this feels so important to me. Might be the first memories that ever mattered to me so much. Maybe it’s Emma. She scares me a little. So happy and nice… but she’s kinda like me. I think the scientists in her lab didn’t do any creepy fuckery on her.. but how would she know? She’s got no freaking memories. How does she just.. go on, like oh, well. She said it’s all boring dead ends, she’s an orphan and shit, but.. who told you that? I don’t know if I could be as chill about it as she is. Maybe it’s a front. I may not like my memories, a lot of them are kind of grey and vague nowadays, details forgotten I don’t want to remember. I’m not losing these memories. I mean.. it’s not like I ever think I will forget BC’s face, her green eyes, her beautiful pale hair, her strong presence, so protective and powerful.. I’ll never forget any of that.

But I might forget how often she tells me she loves me. I might forget how much she’s a magnet, and I’m full of iron filings, constantly drawn to her, to touch her. There’s a sexy side to it, no question, god, just kissing her makes me wanna rip off my clothes and beg her for more… and I never want to forget sitting her on the couch, making her sit still for a moment, so I could kiss her. Show her how much I want to touch her.. I never want her to doubt it. I feel hesitant, afraid, making dominant gestures like that, being in control more than being passive, but I wanted to kiss every part of her, I wanted her to stay still and let me kiss parts of her I.. was afraid to go near really. But her… well.. no need to get too crazy here.. it was amazing. The real point is I don’t want to forget all the things that shaped our relationship. The mistakes, so I don’t repeat them. The successes, so I can relive them. The moments in between, because that’s our life.

Max.. it’s not the same. I want to kiss and snuggle him.. probably a lot more, too.. although I don’t want to rush it. Not only is it somehow different because he’s a man, but also because it’s.. so normal. He didn’t rescue me from possible destruction, or save me from an abuser or anything dramatic like that. He found me at a party, and said hi. BC is my all-consuming tempest, my blinding love. Max is that cool, calm lake, serenity and peace. My ice and fire right there. My Mistress of Flame, and my Icy Boy Toy.. god.. I’ve been trying not to call him that. He’s more important to me than that. Just because it’s not a wild and crazy kind of love doesn’t make it less. I’m grateful for it. Just because a love is wild and crazy doesn’t make it any lesser, either. BC is not a mild mannered lady, loving her is never going to be boring. I hope I’m enough to keep both of them happy. At least BC has Eliza, too. Makes me happy to know that.

Texted BC.. sounds like she had a good night. Some partying.. then helping out the LTs, and finally.. helping drunk girls (Melody? I have probably seen them around) not get hurt in the D. She mentioned helping Felicia, too. I don’t know these people well.. I am still getting to know all these other players out here. Such a giant sign of how crap the Black Holes were. How was here this entire time, longer than BC has been! And I feel like I don’t know ANYONE. I’m glad she has so many people around who care about her. Didn’t stop Friday’s fiasco, but they helped her, and again – I trust BC.. so I’ll trust them.